He wears his heart safety pinned to his backpack.

His backpack is all that he knows.

Shot down by strangers whose glances can cripple the heart and devour the soul.

I am a camera whore, it clicked last night when I was having trouble sleeping and at around midnight, got up, took a billion photos, loaded them up and edited them, creating the banner in the process. I actually like my old one better, but oh well. The discovery of  over 100 photos of myself doing random things probably contributed to this apiphany.

I still haven't finished the banner he asked me to make...I fail. It's just because it's not th usual thing I make I guess, tis hard, has anime pictures and things on it.

We had another tiff yesterday. I'm on holidays and he's not, but usually when he's at school we text anyway. Yesterday I got nothing. I got a good morning message, I replied, and then nothing for six hours. This might seem needy, but when you have anxiety, your boyfriend has an many medical problems as mine does and lives 2000kms away, you start to worry a lot after six hours. I missed him heaps. He called when he got home, I was so happy to hear from him, it turns out his phone died. That was fine, I wasn't angry about the fact that I hadn't heard from him all day. In fact I wasn't even angry, I just felt plain stupid. I missed him so much, we talked for about half an hour, 75% of which was me sitting in silence while he watched some cartoon and ate. Then when he'd fnished, "I'm going to go play Live now." Missed me too did you? Gah. I thought about him all day, I doubt I entered his head at all. That makes me feel pathetic. I have to stop depending on him and obsessing about him, get a life as I've told myself many many times before.

So, I'm getting a job, guitar lessons from my new school and I'm taking like 5 study courses in January so I can breeze through year 11 and have more free time to do the stuff I like, go to the beach, paint, see friends I've neglected lately.

He's here in 2 days :)

xx