I will forget you like I always do.

And I'll break your heart and then you'll fall apart.

Sick to my stomach,
this terrifying ride.
We're falling
and falling some more,
and I fear we'll hit the bottom.
Rip my heart out,
leave me cold,
I don't care,
my soul is sold.
What I fear,
what I dread,
is leaving you,
your hope in shreds.
So please honey,
destroy me.

We had a fight. He was being selfish, and I told him so. I can't remember exactly what words where exchanged, I deleted all the messages and cried out everything we said. He never got angry with me, I just got worked up over something that he did, and he didn't fight back, didn't defend himself, and this is what scared me - he was terrified, he asked if I still loved him, he cried, he felt sick to his stomach. He was shattered that I was upset with him. I mean too much to him. I don't want to mean that much to anybody because what if end it? What if I get too busy in year 11 and 12 to sustain a long distance relationship? We fight, his world pauses, what if I leave? How is he going to take that? It scares me so much.

xx